This Weeks Daily Stig 17th Dec 2009
Rating PG13: for contributing to charity(you will understand later)
Daily Stigism: Some Say he is not a Ratsa neither in heart nor in kitchen.
I know you guys miss me so here is some news
NEWS:
So Lets start with what everyone is STILL talking about. Go get ‘em Tiger
Remember the last issue where we spoke about Tiger woods “alleged” affair LOL I don’t even watch TV and I can’t stop hearing about it.
Well it’s all confirmed now (he finally caved an admitted it after the 5th girl or so came forward) probably because he new girl number 4 took photos and they were going to come out sooner or later
Tiger Woods is my hero and I want to have cheated on my wife with as many strippers and porn stars as he did when I grow up …..He always did look too quiet I thought he may have been gay or just a super sniper… so big shout out to a “one shot one kill” man like Tiger Hoo-rah!
About 10 women have come forward now and said they had an affair with him. Seriously how many holes were you playing dude?
RELATED NEWS:
In related news it was “reported” that Rev Al Sharpton condemned Tiger woods affairs because he cheated with only white women Al claims he is sending the wrong message to the young black women of the society...That they are not even good enough for extra marital affairs ….hurting the poor girls self esteem (how could you Tiger and I used to look up to you only a few lines ago)
Don’t worry Al I will sort out all the young black women Tiger left behind cause I love my black women :D don’t worry Gabs I like de red ones too :P
OTHER NEWS:
There is a new law in Florida that outlaws the wearing of skimpy or revealing clothing, well at least for employees of the state and listen to this ….underwear is MANDOTORY.
All I wonder is who is going to check? Will there be people on panty duty? What will the boss call you and say?
“Hi Cindy, It’s the boss, it’s come to my attention that you have on no panties today? No idea where that strong breeze came from and we are indoors but anyways I’m afraid I will have to send you home for failing to adhere to the dress code…but stop by my office before you leave and shut the door behind you when you come in” (insert pervert smile here)
NEXT NUDDER NEWS:
STOCKHOLM, Sweden: A couple who kept their apartment block awake with their non-stop love-making has won a case to halt their eviction. Judges ruled it could not be proved they were having sex at the time. One neighbour said: “I don’t think they were playing cards.”…Maybe they were playing “suck me well”
URZEDOW, Poland: A two-day police hunt for a “drowned” man was called off when the 24-year-old turned up at the search scene looking for his clothes. Maciej Nowak disappeared after being dumped by his girlfriend. When his clothes were found the next morning by a lake, friends feared he had killed himself…Man get dump and went skinny dipping and ended up at the whore house shacked up for a couple days.
MY WORLD
And speaking of whore houses
I went to a strip club the other night whooo hooo had a blast (big shout out to Immigration)
Anyways after I realize I tip out $80 to they girls I wondered if you could write that off as charity and claim it on income tax.(I made a contribution to the Help Our Ebony Sisters fund (whistle and try to look innocent)
Imagine a world where these things are possible
In my world the strip club would be tax deductible, the weekend would be split in two, the regular weekend and midweek end (Wednesday) so no work on Wednesdays EVER.
In my world drinking and eating pork will be sports of high regard as would be road tennis. I’m sure Barbados would medal consistently at the Olympics in at least 2 of theses sports. (Training facilities for road tennis is lacking. but there is always a rum shop around every corner).
Just picture it now professional rum drinkers and pork eaters will be like celebrities and people will ask for their autograph. Pork eaters will have special trading cards with their stats and one of the most coveted pork eater cards will be Trevor “The Swine Slayer” Wood. Gold medalist for Barbados in the last 4 World championships and current World record holder in the pork-athalon , team and individual porking and a silver medalist in souse wrestling (heavy weight category)
The kids can join their school pork team and put it on there resumes when they apply for jobs and those who were on the pork team of their school or university would be looked upon quite favorably.
Interviewer (looking over the printed resume):”I see you were captain of both the drinking and pork teams at school…quite impressive”
Of course you would have you local competitions, out of season drinking (I guess the regular season would be around crop over) I can hear the radio ad now (in hyper dawg voice)
“Outa season drinking finals dis satduh at de National Rum Bar and Grill a big show down between to big drinking sides. Britons Hill Brandy Snappers Vs de Vodka Villagers outa Silver Sands, don’t miss this action, admission only $10. Drink off at 8pm sharp so get dey early and don’t miss a sip…Dis satduh National Rum Bar and Grill. Outa season drinking finals!!”
Well that’s it for this Weeks Daily Stig and its only Thursday 17th Dec 2009
I done wid the question of the day cause wunna don't answer me, damn separatists
Quote of the Day: I is a Rasta man in heart, not in kitchen…Aaron..(avid pork eater)
Daily Stigism: Some Say he is not a Ratsa neither in heart nor in kitchen.
I know you guys miss me so here is some news
NEWS:
So Lets start with what everyone is STILL talking about. Go get ‘em Tiger
Remember the last issue where we spoke about Tiger woods “alleged” affair LOL I don’t even watch TV and I can’t stop hearing about it.
Well it’s all confirmed now (he finally caved an admitted it after the 5th girl or so came forward) probably because he new girl number 4 took photos and they were going to come out sooner or later
Tiger Woods is my hero and I want to have cheated on my wife with as many strippers and porn stars as he did when I grow up …..He always did look too quiet I thought he may have been gay or just a super sniper… so big shout out to a “one shot one kill” man like Tiger Hoo-rah!
About 10 women have come forward now and said they had an affair with him. Seriously how many holes were you playing dude?
RELATED NEWS:
In related news it was “reported” that Rev Al Sharpton condemned Tiger woods affairs because he cheated with only white women Al claims he is sending the wrong message to the young black women of the society...That they are not even good enough for extra marital affairs ….hurting the poor girls self esteem (how could you Tiger and I used to look up to you only a few lines ago)
Don’t worry Al I will sort out all the young black women Tiger left behind cause I love my black women :D don’t worry Gabs I like de red ones too :P
OTHER NEWS:
There is a new law in Florida that outlaws the wearing of skimpy or revealing clothing, well at least for employees of the state and listen to this ….underwear is MANDOTORY.
All I wonder is who is going to check? Will there be people on panty duty? What will the boss call you and say?
“Hi Cindy, It’s the boss, it’s come to my attention that you have on no panties today? No idea where that strong breeze came from and we are indoors but anyways I’m afraid I will have to send you home for failing to adhere to the dress code…but stop by my office before you leave and shut the door behind you when you come in” (insert pervert smile here)
NEXT NUDDER NEWS:
STOCKHOLM, Sweden: A couple who kept their apartment block awake with their non-stop love-making has won a case to halt their eviction. Judges ruled it could not be proved they were having sex at the time. One neighbour said: “I don’t think they were playing cards.”…Maybe they were playing “suck me well”
URZEDOW, Poland: A two-day police hunt for a “drowned” man was called off when the 24-year-old turned up at the search scene looking for his clothes. Maciej Nowak disappeared after being dumped by his girlfriend. When his clothes were found the next morning by a lake, friends feared he had killed himself…Man get dump and went skinny dipping and ended up at the whore house shacked up for a couple days.
MY WORLD
And speaking of whore houses
I went to a strip club the other night whooo hooo had a blast (big shout out to Immigration)
Anyways after I realize I tip out $80 to they girls I wondered if you could write that off as charity and claim it on income tax.(I made a contribution to the Help Our Ebony Sisters fund (whistle and try to look innocent)
Imagine a world where these things are possible
In my world the strip club would be tax deductible, the weekend would be split in two, the regular weekend and midweek end (Wednesday) so no work on Wednesdays EVER.
In my world drinking and eating pork will be sports of high regard as would be road tennis. I’m sure Barbados would medal consistently at the Olympics in at least 2 of theses sports. (Training facilities for road tennis is lacking. but there is always a rum shop around every corner).
Just picture it now professional rum drinkers and pork eaters will be like celebrities and people will ask for their autograph. Pork eaters will have special trading cards with their stats and one of the most coveted pork eater cards will be Trevor “The Swine Slayer” Wood. Gold medalist for Barbados in the last 4 World championships and current World record holder in the pork-athalon , team and individual porking and a silver medalist in souse wrestling (heavy weight category)
The kids can join their school pork team and put it on there resumes when they apply for jobs and those who were on the pork team of their school or university would be looked upon quite favorably.
Interviewer (looking over the printed resume):”I see you were captain of both the drinking and pork teams at school…quite impressive”
Of course you would have you local competitions, out of season drinking (I guess the regular season would be around crop over) I can hear the radio ad now (in hyper dawg voice)
“Outa season drinking finals dis satduh at de National Rum Bar and Grill a big show down between to big drinking sides. Britons Hill Brandy Snappers Vs de Vodka Villagers outa Silver Sands, don’t miss this action, admission only $10. Drink off at 8pm sharp so get dey early and don’t miss a sip…Dis satduh National Rum Bar and Grill. Outa season drinking finals!!”
Well that’s it for this Weeks Daily Stig and its only Thursday 17th Dec 2009
I done wid the question of the day cause wunna don't answer me, damn separatists
Quote of the Day: I is a Rasta man in heart, not in kitchen…Aaron..(avid pork eater)